The Bardic Chef: Recipe – Wyvern Etouffee

Wyvern meat is tough. Well, I should have anticipated that due to the struggle we had when trying to defeat the creature in the first place, but just trying to take enough of it’s meat to experiment with was a whole other level of challenge. Luckily there is enough might in the arms of this family to do the chopping for me. I anticipate this to taste very gamey, due to the texture and toughness of each strip of meat, similar to that of large lizards – which makes sense, aren’t wyverns just another kind of large lizard when you think about it? This is a dish to definitely add to the future menu, one wyvern, stripped and stored in a proper manner, would feed customers for quite some time.


  • 2 lbs Wyvern meat, cut into thin strips
  • Ochre jelly, two drops
  • 1 cup Butter
  • 2 Green onions, chopped
  • 2 cloves Garlic, minced
  • 3 Celery stalks, chopped
  • 1 ½ cups Tomatoes
  • 2 tsp Salt
  • 2 tsp Black Pepper
  • Red, Hot spice assortment (cayenne is best)
  • Cooked grains (or rice)


In a metal pan or pot, combine the wyvern strips with a combination of water and ochre jelly for one hour to break down the meat’s toughness. Saute onions, garlic, and celery into the butter until it is soft. Add tomatoes and simmer for twenty minutes, covered. Add the wyvern meat and cook over a low flame for an additional hour. Add hot water if gravy becomes too thick. Serve over grains.

(PLAY NOTE: Performance roll of 18+ required to avoid acid burns during cooking, and to avoid eaters being harmed. 2d4 acid for prep damage, 1d4 acid to everyone who eats it if the roll is failed.)