The Bardic Chef: Recipe – Weary Wanderer Muffins

I learned early on that the secret to a successful mission is keeping the party’s energy up. Little rations that you purchase at the same store you buy your daggers at aren’t going to cut it, and make for a bunch of grumpy companions. Whenever I had access to an oven in town, I would make a batch of these, and offer them to my companions throughout the following days, whenever they would start getting cranky. I would replace any meat with mushrooms if one was particularly against eating animals, and it would turn out just as good.


  • 1 1/2 cups of flour
  • 1/2 cup of butter, cold and chopped
  • 3 green onions, finely chopped
  • 1 bell pepper, finely chopped, and squeeze-dried between two cloths
  • 1 medium carrot, grated, and squeeze-dried between two cloths
  • 4 eggs, well-beaten to incorporate air
  • 1 cup of milk
  • 10 – 12 thin slices of your choice of meat (preferred: boar bacon, cockatrice, or griffon). Replace with mushrooms if desired.
  • 1 cup grated chosen cheese (preferred: aged cheddar)
  • 2 cloves of garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp rosemary
  • 1 tsp thyme
  • 1 tsp sage
  • Salt and pepper to taste


Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. 

In a pan, cook the meat well, and cut into small 1/2 inch pieces. Use the same pan to cook the chopped onion, pepper, and carrot, approximately 5 minutes. Remove all from heat.

Sieve the flour and mix well with the chopped butter, creating a rough dough. Add the egg, milk, and herbs and combine. Once thoroughly incorporated, add the veggies and meat to the mixture.

Divide equally in a muffin tin, creating 10 – 12 muffins. 

(OOC: She would not have paper muffin cups at her disposal, but for the love of god use them and save yourself the hassle of what happens if you don’t.)

Sprinkle the tops of the muffins with the cheese. If you wish them to be richer, create a well inside each muffin’s center, and push the cheese into it too. Bake 15 – 20 minutes, check on them from time to time to make sure they don’t overcook. Transfer to a wire cooling rack when complete.