The Bardic Chef: Recipe – Blooming Rose Creme Pie

Unexpected. That is the word I would use to describe her. Small stature, soft features, but a powerful personality that bursts out of her with so much force that it knocks me off my feet. Her abilities are unexpected – how someone that eats as heartily as she does still manages to sneak around undetected is a mystery I will never solve. But what she stirs in me is most curious and unexpected of all. How do I begin to cope with this?


  • 1 ½ cups + 1 ½ tbsp flour
  • ¼ cup lard
  • 1 tsp salt
  • ¼ cup + 2 tbsp butter
  • 5 tablespoons water
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 ½ cup milk
  • 4 red apples


Grease a pie tin. combine 1 ½ cups flours with salt. Cut in the lard and ¼ cup butter with forks until coarse, then add cold water to it until a ball is formed. Form into a flat circle to 1/6 inch thickness and then press the dough into the bottom of the tin. Prick with fork, and pre-bake in the oven.

In a bowl, combine sugar, 1 ½ tbsp flour, cinnamon, and a pinch of salt, then add in the egg and remaining butter. Mix, and add milk. Pour into pie crust and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Using a sharp knife or mandolin, thinly slice the apples in long strips. Roll into rose petal shapes and tuck across the top of the pie, making sure they’re snug. Bake for another 30 minutes, until roses are soft.